PILE OF PEOPLE

I was recently at the bottom of a pile of people.
How I found myself there is not important and frankly, I can't quite remember how it happened.

But I was most certainly there. It's one of those things you can be reasonably sure about.

I'm not going to recommend that anyone go out of their way to try it.
And, as my experience was unintentional, I don't think that I would be in any position to endorse it even if I wanted to.

But in the event that you do find yourself in a similar position, here are some tips:

1. Don't exhale - As you may or may not be aware, they don't put a whole lot of air under piles of people. You're going to have to make due with what you brought with you.

2. Leave your valuables at home - You won't need them, whatever they are. There's nothing under there for money to buy. Not even traveler's checks, which are usually safer to carry. As for family heirlooms, expensive electronics, autographed vinyl records and the like - nobody's going to be impressed by them and they'll probably get broken.

3. Check your ego - Being under a pile of people is humbling. If you're there on purpose this may, in fact, be the reason you're there. Regardless, don't expect to be able to impose yourself on the situation too much. The situation is going to be imposing itself on you until it decides otherwise.

4. Have a sense of humor - But don't be too joky about it (see rule 1).

5. Don't resent the people on top - (disregard if you are under the pile intentionally) Chances are high that they didn't have any more control over where they ended up than you did. Chances are also high that they are people that you might love very much in different circumstances. Don't let the current situation preclude future friendly overtures between you - that is assuming, of course, that the pile breaks up in enough time to allow for such thoughts to be more than simply academic.